Brian Smith
2025-01-26 21:11:47 UTC
***This article contains a lot of Survivor content***
Survivor Star Teeny Chirichillo on Top Surgery, “Gender Envy,” and The
Traitors
“The internet clocked my tea and immediately started having fights with
each other in Reddit threads about what my pronouns were.”
By Ana Osorno
January 24, 2025
As someone who has loved reality TV game shows for as long as I can
remember — yes, I’m currently obsessing over The Traitors — it’s
relatively new to be able to root for this many queer contestants
on-screen at once. These days, we often see multiple LGBTQ+ people
facing off in beaches, rented mansions, and wilderness expanses, all in
the same show.
The recently concluded Survivor 47 followed that trend by featuring not
one, but two queer contestants: renowned liberal podcaster Jon Lovett
and Teeny Chirichillo, a hyperonline Gen Z writer from New Jersey who
immediately endeared themself to viewers by playing with their heart
very much on their sleeve.
Chirichillo’s parents first introduced them to Survivor in the fifth
grade, not knowing it would change their child’s life. “It just struck a
chord with me,” Chirichillo tells Them of the show’s resonance with
their nascent queer identity. “I saw what I was doing in school as
[being similar to] what they were doing on Survivor in the sense of
having to socially ingratiate myself and adapt.”
After graduating from college last year, Chirichillo spent 26 days on a
remote island in Fiji, making a deep run into their season. Since
returning home, nothing has been the same for the newly minted nonbinary
reality star. Their post-show whirlwind has included not just witnessing
waves of internet discourse about their gender but getting top surgery
as well.
Amid the chaos, Chirichillo is clinging to the deeply personal meaning
their time in Fiji held for so many viewers at home. Throughout their
time on Survivor, they won over the show’s large queer audience by
opening up on camera about their identity, the power of friendship, and
the struggles they’ve faced. In a particularly raw and earnest moment in
the finale, they talked about their one-sided rivalry with fellow
contestant Sam Phalen, vulnerably attributing to — as they put it —
“gender envy.” And all of it has struck a chord, much like earlier
seasons of Survivor did with a young Teeny.
“It’s been beautiful to see [my experience] resonate with people,”
Chirichillo says. “It’s been such a cherry on top of what was already a
lifelong dream come true. It really ties it in a bow, just my whole life
being entangled with figuring out my identity.”
While it’s been a few weeks since season 47 of Survivor came to an end,
it feels like there was no better time than the peak of wintertime
reality TV escapism to sit down with Chirichillo. Over Zoom, they talked
with Them about their queer journey on and off the show, their role
models, The Traitors (of course), and what the future holds.
First of all, what was it like getting cast on Survivor?
I always wanted to go on the show. My parents showed it to me when I was
in fifth grade, and it just struck a chord with me. I saw what I was
doing in school as [being similar to] what they were doing on Survivor
in the sense of having to socially ingratiate myself and adapt.
I dressed like a boy all growing up. I wore all boy clothes and I never
wanted to be outcast whatsoever. I still wanted to be in the mix and
have friends and know people. So I really had to go above and beyond
trying to invest myself in what other people were doing. Growing up
watching Survivor, I feel like I was able to apply so many things I
learned from the show into my life.
Did you have to quit your job to go on the show?
I was working in a soulless tech industry with all straight men and
yeah, it was so horrible. I needed an out and thank God it was Survivor.
Lucky for us, it was Survivor. Before going on the show, were you at all
nervous about the possibility of sharing your life on screen?
The few years prior to going on the show is when I would say I was the
most confident in starting to present more masculinely and buying boy
clothes again after a long time of not doing that. At that time, I was
also realizing that I wanted top surgery and figuring out what that
meant for me.
The process of getting top surgery and Survivor converged at this point
where right before I went on the show, I had a consultation and I got my
surgery date. I knew going into it that I would be having top surgery,
which was awesome. But there was also this weirdness where I wasn’t out
fully as nonbinary.
Most Popular
You really opened up quite a bit in the confessionals. How did it feel
to reveal or explore your queer identity while playing Survivor? Did you
think people would react a certain way both on and off the show?
In my life, I never made a coming-out post. I didn’t have pronouns in my
bio. I never had anything like that before going on the show. When I
went on the show, I was still in this transitional state. I was like, “I
probably will go by different pronouns in a few months.” But I was open
on the show to my cast about being in this transitional state.
But one of the weirder parts of the experience was that, while I was
playing the game, a promo came out for the season [that featured me] and
there’s no other way to put it than the internet clocked my tea and
immediately started having fights with each other in Reddit threads
about what my pronouns were. So I’m on the plane ride home from playing
Survivor, and I’m seeing all of this intense discourse about me being
the first openly nonbinary contestant on Survivor.
That must have felt jarring after being isolated on the island for
nearly a month.
I’m in my head going, “Well, I never said those words. I don’t go by
they/them on the show. I never said that.” I’m having this crisis of:
Now there’s a lot of people in my life who I’ve never broached this
topic with completely who are thinking or confused and think that I
maybe didn’t tell them something. And there’s also this expectation I
feel now that I’m going to disappoint people because I’m not going to be
the representation that they want.
That was a really complicated thing to process, but it was wonderful on
the flip side because I got to have open conversations with people in my
life, who saw all this discourse happening, about what I actually wanted
and what I felt.
People seemed to really connect with your personal experience.
It’s been beautiful to see it resonate with people. It’s been such a
cherry on top of what was already a lifelong dream come true. I think it
really ties it in a bow, just my whole life being entangled with
figuring out my identity. And obviously as you see on the show, I
struggled with it in a gender envy way too. It has been a beautiful,
encapsulating identity experience.
“You can’t bind 24/7 living in a jungle. I was really worried about how
it would look and the dysphoria that I would feel.”
Circling back, I want to ask you more about what it was like going on
the show knowing you’d have top surgery when you returned? Did you have
any hesitations about that?
For the two years prior to being on the show, I wore a binder every
single day, and I wouldn’t walk out the door without a binder. But going
on Survivor, you can’t wear one. You need to wear something you can swim
in, it would’ve been damaged. You can’t bind 24/7 living in a jungle. I
was really worried about how it would look and the dysphoria that I
would feel.
But a really surprising and beautiful part of the experience was that
having no reflective surfaces whatsoever — and not being able to see
myself at all — allowed me to disconnect from the dysphoria in a really
overwhelmingly liberating way. I was just able to live in my body for
the first time in a really long time without being tapped out of reality
when I would pass a surface and see my chest.
And what better way to say goodbye to this part of my body that I don’t
feel comfortable in than through doing this wonderful experience that
I’ve waited so long for?
How has it felt getting to be on the other side of it, presenting
yourself the way that you want to to the world?
I really have no regrets. Some of my favorite messages have been from
older trans or queer people who, for either medical reasons or because
of their age, aren’t able to play Survivor, but told me that watching me
was the closest thing they’ll ever get to seeing how they would play.
That was really, really, really touching. Plus, seeing people add on to
the other examples of gender envy they felt and validate the things that
I was feeling was beautiful.
But at the same time, I really struck a chord with other people who
didn’t get it and who thought it was just being bratty and entitled or a
misandrist, and that was really hard. It’s hard to read think pieces
about yourself. It’s hard to watch your dream — the thing that has
always been so positive — become negative. That was complicated, but by
the time we get to the finale, I’m able to articulate my feelings and
own up to the way that I was projecting in a way that I’m really proud of.
Speaking of the finale, talk to me about your complicated relationship
with fellow final four contestant Sam.
The one thing that I misrepresented in how I spoke about Sam is that I
classified him as the jock, an athlete, the all-American quarterback.
But in reality, one of the first exchanges we have, which is shown on
the show, is that we both played Mike Teavee in [the Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory] musical.
I think that Sam and I are actually way more similar as people. He is a
theater kid, he is a very deep thinker, and a sentimental guy who likes
Taylor Swift. With him, I saw so much more clearly maybe who I could
have been if I were a boy, if I did grow up that way.
Speaking of Survivor players. Was there anyone that you looked up to
from previous seasons of the show? Or anyone that you’ve turned to since
being on it?
Richard Hatch [the winner of season one of Survivor] has been a huge
part of my experience. He was the first one to do it. He’s the reason
why reality TV is what it is because if he didn’t go on and play the way
he did in the year 2000 when being gay was not cool, I wouldn’t be
talking to you. The show wouldn’t be in his 47th season. I think his
wisdom and his ability to still be a part of watching the show is so
wonderful.
I also watched as the whole Zeke [Smith] situation unfolded, which was
incredibly unfortunate and scary and one of the most wild, but also real
things that’s ever happened on Survivor. And I feel like one, it gave me
this confidence that, “OK, they’re casting trans people on the show.
”You know what I mean?
But in general, I do think that what I went through and was going
through on the show hadn’t really been seen before because I wasn’t
fully transitioned and I wasn’t just a lesbian; I was in this middle
ground. I think it’s cool to have been maybe with one of the first
people who was able to play in that space.
Do you have any advice that you would just offer to young queer people
or any queer person processing their gender identity and figuring out
their next steps?
The best advice I could give — and the thing that has been so helpful to
me — is just consuming as much queer literacy and media and other
people’s experiences as you can. I have read so many different trans and
queer memoirs over the past year that through different aspects of their
essays or their stories have got me to think about my own childhood or
what I would want for myself.
It just goes to show that being trans is an à la carte menu. You can
pick what you want. It doesn’t come with everything. I think just
exposing yourself to as many different kinds of queer experiences as
possible helps you to feel more comfortable in your own skin and be
aware that there’s all different ways that you can have any identity
that you want.
I know you’re a huge reality TV game show fan. Are you watching The
Traitors? And if so, would you want to be a faithful or a traitor?
I actually think maybe for my psyche, it’d be better if I was a traitor
because I can’t handle being lied to the way I was on Survivor again,
but I think I’d be a damn good faithful.
Agreed. Who from Survivor — old era, new era — would you want to see on
Traitors?
Richard Hatch. Not to be redundant, but I think he would be fucking
brilliant. He needs to be on TV again. Who else? From the new era,
Genevieve [Mushaluk].
Are you rooting for anyone?
Yeah. Carolyn [Wiger], I am rooting for, I love her. I think she’s
hysterical. But also keep your eyes on Britney [Haynes]. She’s really
funny. I think you’ll really like her. She hasn’t been shown that much,
but she’s the funniest one of the whole Big Brother series.
So, Traitors viewing aside, what does life look like now?
Since January 1st, I’ve just been trying to find a new routine again,
calm down a little bit, and relax. My next goal is that I want to
eventually write a book.
Finally, I have to ask: Did you see any tweets about you while the show
was airing that made you laugh?
My favorite one is my current Twitter header, which is somebody just
replying and going, “You don’t got game, sweetie. What’s even your
gender?” That one, because I feel like it really sums it all up.
This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Survivor streams on Paramount+.
Source:
https://www.them.us/story/survivor-teeny-chirichillo-gender-top-surgery-interview
Survivor Star Teeny Chirichillo on Top Surgery, “Gender Envy,” and The
Traitors
“The internet clocked my tea and immediately started having fights with
each other in Reddit threads about what my pronouns were.”
By Ana Osorno
January 24, 2025
As someone who has loved reality TV game shows for as long as I can
remember — yes, I’m currently obsessing over The Traitors — it’s
relatively new to be able to root for this many queer contestants
on-screen at once. These days, we often see multiple LGBTQ+ people
facing off in beaches, rented mansions, and wilderness expanses, all in
the same show.
The recently concluded Survivor 47 followed that trend by featuring not
one, but two queer contestants: renowned liberal podcaster Jon Lovett
and Teeny Chirichillo, a hyperonline Gen Z writer from New Jersey who
immediately endeared themself to viewers by playing with their heart
very much on their sleeve.
Chirichillo’s parents first introduced them to Survivor in the fifth
grade, not knowing it would change their child’s life. “It just struck a
chord with me,” Chirichillo tells Them of the show’s resonance with
their nascent queer identity. “I saw what I was doing in school as
[being similar to] what they were doing on Survivor in the sense of
having to socially ingratiate myself and adapt.”
After graduating from college last year, Chirichillo spent 26 days on a
remote island in Fiji, making a deep run into their season. Since
returning home, nothing has been the same for the newly minted nonbinary
reality star. Their post-show whirlwind has included not just witnessing
waves of internet discourse about their gender but getting top surgery
as well.
Amid the chaos, Chirichillo is clinging to the deeply personal meaning
their time in Fiji held for so many viewers at home. Throughout their
time on Survivor, they won over the show’s large queer audience by
opening up on camera about their identity, the power of friendship, and
the struggles they’ve faced. In a particularly raw and earnest moment in
the finale, they talked about their one-sided rivalry with fellow
contestant Sam Phalen, vulnerably attributing to — as they put it —
“gender envy.” And all of it has struck a chord, much like earlier
seasons of Survivor did with a young Teeny.
“It’s been beautiful to see [my experience] resonate with people,”
Chirichillo says. “It’s been such a cherry on top of what was already a
lifelong dream come true. It really ties it in a bow, just my whole life
being entangled with figuring out my identity.”
While it’s been a few weeks since season 47 of Survivor came to an end,
it feels like there was no better time than the peak of wintertime
reality TV escapism to sit down with Chirichillo. Over Zoom, they talked
with Them about their queer journey on and off the show, their role
models, The Traitors (of course), and what the future holds.
First of all, what was it like getting cast on Survivor?
I always wanted to go on the show. My parents showed it to me when I was
in fifth grade, and it just struck a chord with me. I saw what I was
doing in school as [being similar to] what they were doing on Survivor
in the sense of having to socially ingratiate myself and adapt.
I dressed like a boy all growing up. I wore all boy clothes and I never
wanted to be outcast whatsoever. I still wanted to be in the mix and
have friends and know people. So I really had to go above and beyond
trying to invest myself in what other people were doing. Growing up
watching Survivor, I feel like I was able to apply so many things I
learned from the show into my life.
Did you have to quit your job to go on the show?
I was working in a soulless tech industry with all straight men and
yeah, it was so horrible. I needed an out and thank God it was Survivor.
Lucky for us, it was Survivor. Before going on the show, were you at all
nervous about the possibility of sharing your life on screen?
The few years prior to going on the show is when I would say I was the
most confident in starting to present more masculinely and buying boy
clothes again after a long time of not doing that. At that time, I was
also realizing that I wanted top surgery and figuring out what that
meant for me.
The process of getting top surgery and Survivor converged at this point
where right before I went on the show, I had a consultation and I got my
surgery date. I knew going into it that I would be having top surgery,
which was awesome. But there was also this weirdness where I wasn’t out
fully as nonbinary.
Most Popular
You really opened up quite a bit in the confessionals. How did it feel
to reveal or explore your queer identity while playing Survivor? Did you
think people would react a certain way both on and off the show?
In my life, I never made a coming-out post. I didn’t have pronouns in my
bio. I never had anything like that before going on the show. When I
went on the show, I was still in this transitional state. I was like, “I
probably will go by different pronouns in a few months.” But I was open
on the show to my cast about being in this transitional state.
But one of the weirder parts of the experience was that, while I was
playing the game, a promo came out for the season [that featured me] and
there’s no other way to put it than the internet clocked my tea and
immediately started having fights with each other in Reddit threads
about what my pronouns were. So I’m on the plane ride home from playing
Survivor, and I’m seeing all of this intense discourse about me being
the first openly nonbinary contestant on Survivor.
That must have felt jarring after being isolated on the island for
nearly a month.
I’m in my head going, “Well, I never said those words. I don’t go by
they/them on the show. I never said that.” I’m having this crisis of:
Now there’s a lot of people in my life who I’ve never broached this
topic with completely who are thinking or confused and think that I
maybe didn’t tell them something. And there’s also this expectation I
feel now that I’m going to disappoint people because I’m not going to be
the representation that they want.
That was a really complicated thing to process, but it was wonderful on
the flip side because I got to have open conversations with people in my
life, who saw all this discourse happening, about what I actually wanted
and what I felt.
People seemed to really connect with your personal experience.
It’s been beautiful to see it resonate with people. It’s been such a
cherry on top of what was already a lifelong dream come true. I think it
really ties it in a bow, just my whole life being entangled with
figuring out my identity. And obviously as you see on the show, I
struggled with it in a gender envy way too. It has been a beautiful,
encapsulating identity experience.
“You can’t bind 24/7 living in a jungle. I was really worried about how
it would look and the dysphoria that I would feel.”
Circling back, I want to ask you more about what it was like going on
the show knowing you’d have top surgery when you returned? Did you have
any hesitations about that?
For the two years prior to being on the show, I wore a binder every
single day, and I wouldn’t walk out the door without a binder. But going
on Survivor, you can’t wear one. You need to wear something you can swim
in, it would’ve been damaged. You can’t bind 24/7 living in a jungle. I
was really worried about how it would look and the dysphoria that I
would feel.
But a really surprising and beautiful part of the experience was that
having no reflective surfaces whatsoever — and not being able to see
myself at all — allowed me to disconnect from the dysphoria in a really
overwhelmingly liberating way. I was just able to live in my body for
the first time in a really long time without being tapped out of reality
when I would pass a surface and see my chest.
And what better way to say goodbye to this part of my body that I don’t
feel comfortable in than through doing this wonderful experience that
I’ve waited so long for?
How has it felt getting to be on the other side of it, presenting
yourself the way that you want to to the world?
I really have no regrets. Some of my favorite messages have been from
older trans or queer people who, for either medical reasons or because
of their age, aren’t able to play Survivor, but told me that watching me
was the closest thing they’ll ever get to seeing how they would play.
That was really, really, really touching. Plus, seeing people add on to
the other examples of gender envy they felt and validate the things that
I was feeling was beautiful.
But at the same time, I really struck a chord with other people who
didn’t get it and who thought it was just being bratty and entitled or a
misandrist, and that was really hard. It’s hard to read think pieces
about yourself. It’s hard to watch your dream — the thing that has
always been so positive — become negative. That was complicated, but by
the time we get to the finale, I’m able to articulate my feelings and
own up to the way that I was projecting in a way that I’m really proud of.
Speaking of the finale, talk to me about your complicated relationship
with fellow final four contestant Sam.
The one thing that I misrepresented in how I spoke about Sam is that I
classified him as the jock, an athlete, the all-American quarterback.
But in reality, one of the first exchanges we have, which is shown on
the show, is that we both played Mike Teavee in [the Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory] musical.
I think that Sam and I are actually way more similar as people. He is a
theater kid, he is a very deep thinker, and a sentimental guy who likes
Taylor Swift. With him, I saw so much more clearly maybe who I could
have been if I were a boy, if I did grow up that way.
Speaking of Survivor players. Was there anyone that you looked up to
from previous seasons of the show? Or anyone that you’ve turned to since
being on it?
Richard Hatch [the winner of season one of Survivor] has been a huge
part of my experience. He was the first one to do it. He’s the reason
why reality TV is what it is because if he didn’t go on and play the way
he did in the year 2000 when being gay was not cool, I wouldn’t be
talking to you. The show wouldn’t be in his 47th season. I think his
wisdom and his ability to still be a part of watching the show is so
wonderful.
I also watched as the whole Zeke [Smith] situation unfolded, which was
incredibly unfortunate and scary and one of the most wild, but also real
things that’s ever happened on Survivor. And I feel like one, it gave me
this confidence that, “OK, they’re casting trans people on the show.
”You know what I mean?
But in general, I do think that what I went through and was going
through on the show hadn’t really been seen before because I wasn’t
fully transitioned and I wasn’t just a lesbian; I was in this middle
ground. I think it’s cool to have been maybe with one of the first
people who was able to play in that space.
Do you have any advice that you would just offer to young queer people
or any queer person processing their gender identity and figuring out
their next steps?
The best advice I could give — and the thing that has been so helpful to
me — is just consuming as much queer literacy and media and other
people’s experiences as you can. I have read so many different trans and
queer memoirs over the past year that through different aspects of their
essays or their stories have got me to think about my own childhood or
what I would want for myself.
It just goes to show that being trans is an à la carte menu. You can
pick what you want. It doesn’t come with everything. I think just
exposing yourself to as many different kinds of queer experiences as
possible helps you to feel more comfortable in your own skin and be
aware that there’s all different ways that you can have any identity
that you want.
I know you’re a huge reality TV game show fan. Are you watching The
Traitors? And if so, would you want to be a faithful or a traitor?
I actually think maybe for my psyche, it’d be better if I was a traitor
because I can’t handle being lied to the way I was on Survivor again,
but I think I’d be a damn good faithful.
Agreed. Who from Survivor — old era, new era — would you want to see on
Traitors?
Richard Hatch. Not to be redundant, but I think he would be fucking
brilliant. He needs to be on TV again. Who else? From the new era,
Genevieve [Mushaluk].
Are you rooting for anyone?
Yeah. Carolyn [Wiger], I am rooting for, I love her. I think she’s
hysterical. But also keep your eyes on Britney [Haynes]. She’s really
funny. I think you’ll really like her. She hasn’t been shown that much,
but she’s the funniest one of the whole Big Brother series.
So, Traitors viewing aside, what does life look like now?
Since January 1st, I’ve just been trying to find a new routine again,
calm down a little bit, and relax. My next goal is that I want to
eventually write a book.
Finally, I have to ask: Did you see any tweets about you while the show
was airing that made you laugh?
My favorite one is my current Twitter header, which is somebody just
replying and going, “You don’t got game, sweetie. What’s even your
gender?” That one, because I feel like it really sums it all up.
This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Survivor streams on Paramount+.
Source:
https://www.them.us/story/survivor-teeny-chirichillo-gender-top-surgery-interview
--
Brian
Brian